I really like snails.
This is where I go see my only true friends, my snails. 
As I cannot excrete calcium carbonate to protect myself, I am forced to protect myself in a man-made shell like this one
IN ORDER TO FEEL THEIR FEELINGS. I like to dress up as a snail. Snails hurt too. Just like my hands when I don’t wear gloves to the gym.
My Work
Here i am returning my friends to the sea. But don’t worry, I made new friends a few months later. i’m never alone when i have my snails.
Do you like snails?
Will you be my friend?
Will you send me snails?
About Me
I like to read bed-time stories about snails when I am not with them.
Here are some of my snail friends’ opinions of me…if they could speak
Sandro Snail: Excellent bedside manner. Would work with again.
Selena Snail: Great communication and very responsive. Positive experience
Steve the Snail: Really good attitude in the lab. A delight to collaborate with
Sienna Snail: Haven’t had a bad day in the lab since working with him. Great results-driven person.
Sarah Snail: Without a doubt would reccommend for wet-lab collaborations.
Simon Snail: Very precise handiwork. Wouldn’t trust anyone else without consulting him.
Contact
Get in Touch
Send me snail mail, but really include snails in the mail, okay?
University of Cambridge
Department of Snail Sciences
Señor Snail 